Now that your gone

I miss you, I really really miss you and need you in this time of my life. When everything comes together, having that feeling where there's this heavy weight on your shoulder and it's hard to loose that weight of yours. It's always complete when your around but now that your gone I can't do anything about it now..

Breakdown

I guess I can say lately I've been feeling preety much just shieet. My one and only lil sister was vommiting yesterday since 3am in the morning and so on. It made me worry so much about her because she is my only lil one and my mum called her work in sick just to take care of work. Then was called in to work on that day and not feeling that high spirit.

Have you ever felt like you had to put up with something for soo long and just now your letting that all out? I'm fed up with it I have to go through all the shieets. It's like I'm always the one trying and trying so hard to the best of my ability and yet you never realize but maybe deep down inside of you.. But you just don't want to admit that to me. Haven't you realize since all that, we've been like this? It's just never feels the same now. I don't know if you ever read my blogs but yeah I feel like I can express it more from here than to you in person which I just can't do. Otherwise all these other stuff will happen which I know it will for sure so I'll leave it that way. You seem to forget your close surroundings especially me and I know there were times when you were there for me but now it's like I tell more things to my other friends then you. Which doesn't feel right? I'm really happy for you because having that person completes your happiness. Can't be bothered to type more cause it's going to make me feel more emotional as I'm typing this now, those tears starts to run down

Borring Monday!

Firstly I'd have to say my holidays has been BORRING!! Haven't done much and guess what?! I haven't even went to the beach yet! But hopefully this Wednesday I am which I'm really looking forward to seeing my girls and my mates! Hope it's hot too haha! So I guess that's the exciting event that's happening this week. Dusty's 16th birthday is coming up on Saturday and she's having a dinner. Really looking forward to dressing up ahahas! Can't wait to see everyone getting all dressed up. It's going to be a good night :) My cousin Taco Bella is coming back home from Indo next week so I'm preety pumped up to listening to her funny stories and catching up, go school shopping yayy! :D

I think 2010 is going good so far. I remember today while walking to the shops through the fresh air breeze, it's just a good feeling. It's that feeling where you have everything off your chest, smiling alone and having that feeling where your away from everything. Isn't just a nice feeling going through a fresh breeze alone?

I guess I've been watching a couple of movies lately and singing to songs that are established to their own meanings. It really can relate to everyone.

Sometimes we have to let go of things. It was cool when it all started and now the flame has gone. Now it's time to let go, even though your heart is breaking into pieces you still gotta move on. Sometimes it takes long to realize and there's a time where you finally know how it feels like. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me after all the causing of the trouble, it doesn't feel like the same. I'm sorry you had to be like this way, I'm sorry. Sometimes I wish I can take back everything but now we're all living in the present, it be easier to not have known you. I knew what I wanted and I finally made it to my destination but sometimes you feel like something is left behind you and not complete. This is why I hate love, what's the rush getting caught up then it's over? I don't get all excited when somebody brings me flowers or chocolates. I believe for myself that we shouldn't be taken things too seriously, we're all still young and go explore this amazing world, meet new people.
There are those days when I remember every word you said to me, it all just keep spinning in my head but in the end of the day I try to keep forgetting about you
Those are some things I've heard from people experiences and just wanted to share something cause I'm preety sure all you guys out there can relate to this.

One Step A Time

First of all, HELLO 2010!!
I spent NYE with my sister, lil cousin, aunty and uncle who came from Melbourne to celebrate NYE here but it would've been better if my parents came along and my dad was sick but oh well would've been much more worse if he came along.

Anyways the first thing that comes to me is about SCHOOOL!
It's not like I'm going to stress about it, but I have thought about this during the holidays and it does really do kick in since it's the senior year. This year I have so many goals, plans and expectations. Have you ever had that feeling where you want something so bad and you just have to build your way up to your destination? And never stop trying because the only way you would stop is yourself. My mind is pretty much focused to school right now even though it's still 3 weeks away to commencing school. I promise to myself that I'm not going to stress about senior year and I realize the limited time I have during my 2 last years so I have to enjoy it at the same time. I really want to do so good this year and this is the year where all our dreams pretty much comes true. To suceed we have to believe first and that is a very well known famous quote. But sometimes things might come in your way maybe like distractions but hey we all have to go through those obstacles to be able to balance things out. I have a feeling that 2010 is going to fly by soo fast! By term 4 I'm going to be in Year 12 which is scary but a relief at the same time.

I think I can do it if I have my mind set, I shouldn't be saying 'Think' better off hearing, 'I CAN DO IT!' I can go through this, just have to believe myself.

These holidays I've been working alot lately and catching up a few friends of mine and finally today I actually drove for the first time and I loved it! It was heaps fun!! Looking forward to driving more :D

2009!

I've been wanting to make a blog entry about 2009 but just been so busy lately with work! But what can I say about 2009? It has been such an amazing year filled with so many opportunities which was the main highlight of 2009. I guess you never know what you expect from the unexpected haha. But I would love to list my main highlights for 2009:

- Meeting new people
- Indo & Bali Vacation!!
- Global Leadership Convention
- Sydney Regional Representative
- 2009 NSW State SRC Conference: Which we're only allow to participate one time only unless we go for SCAT but no I'll be too old for that! -.-
- Pussycat Dolls Concert
- Anna and I getting into the SRC together!
- Formal
- Graduating Year 10
- Rotary Excellence contribution to the SRC Award: $100 cheque!
- Australian Defence Force 2009 Longtan Leadership and Teamwork Award: $100 cheque!
- New Job: Xmas Casual at Supre: Hoping that I get the job after my 3 months so I'm able to quit Maccas lol!

Looking back makes me think woaaah! I just realized now that I'm building up and up in what I love doing and from there on never stop what you love doing cause these opportunities might come in out of no where! I'd have to say 2009 wasn't a bad drama as last years what I had to deal with but I can't complain beecause we have to all go through this some stage in life. Without this we won't be able to learn our mistakes. Now thinking what I've done and participated I feel satisfied and achieved :) I hope next year can suprise me more and I have so many goals and things I want to acheieve. I'm definately looking forward for 2010, thank you everyone for the lovely moments of 2009, wouldn't be complete and love y'all! xoxo

YEAR 10 2009!

So last week Friday was the last day of Work Experience for us girls and as you may not know, I did my Work Experience at my local Pharmacy. It was a last minute thing and it's definately nothing related to what I wanted to do when I'm older. But overall, Work Experience at the Pharmacy was interesting and learnt so many things during those 9 days. The staff were all friendly except for this lady and thanks god I had Dusty with me haha! I remembered we had an early mark on the last day and we were full celebrating the joy of no more Work Experience! From then I was pretty pumped up for the following week which was mainly because of formal!!



On Tuesday it was Presentation Day and I didn't end going because I was thinking, Why should I go if I'm not getting an award cause usually they would send you a letter to inform you about it. Suddenly last minute, Anna and I decided to go to the RTA and get our L's done before the year ends and yes we finally got our L's!! :D
I'm really looking forward to drive and learn at the same time, but I need an instructor. But while I was at RTA, I get a call from a friend asking me where I am and she told me I'm receiving an award. I said to her, 'Are you sure cause I didn't receive any letter?' But apparently it was one of them suprise awards but fair enough. Couldn't make it cause then I would have to trek it back to home and get changed into uniform then catch 2 buses to get to Randwick and by the time I would get there, I would be so late! I was suprised I got 2 awards this year for Rotary Club Excellent Contribution to the SRC and Australian Defence Force 2009, Long Tan Leadership and Teamwork Award. Hhaha it's all based on 'Leadership' and guess what for those 2 awards, I got $100 cheque for each awards and woo $200 cheque altogether!! But I feel so privileged to receive this special award of the recognition of what I do but makes me think like, 'oO what did I did?' hahaha but anyways yay how awesome! Just then I sent them an email to say thank you and stuff since I didn't go to Presentation Day.



Next following day was FORMAL!! Us girls have been waiting for this for ages and can't believe it already happened so quick! Went to the salon to get my hair done and it took a while! My formal dress I got it designed at Indo and as you see in the pictures it's very traditional with the beautiful Indo material. It explain my personality too I guess and I love it cause it's very elegant, simple and cute and I wanted it to be in that design cause I knew no one would rock up as the same dress as me. Our Year 10 formal was held at Watersedge. It was right next to the darling harbour bridge on the rocks and it has such an amazing view!! But before that we went to Kereni's for pres and we were suppose to go on a hummer but suddenly something happened so we ended up going on a maxi taxi instead haha! Btw I brought Aldo with me the lil stinky one rofl as my partner and evryone there looked so gorgeous and stunning! The food wasn't that bad, the dancing was fun but what sucked the most was that I couldn't even dance properly cause of my heels :( but anyways the music in the beginning was pretty good cause it was like the lastest and it started to go borring in the end because people started to leave. So Aldo and I left abit early, got picked up by my dad and we were so deadset tired and sleepy!! I definately I had a very good night! Thanks to Bahar with the amazing effort and time she spent organising our formal! I realized that I didn't even took pictures with her and the other girls cause you know we're too busy having fun but oh well!

Today was finally our Year 10 Graduation which was pretty exciting too but I was scared to get my results and everything. I guess I did alright but I know I can do way better than that for sure! So for our graduation I was the chairperson which was was all good. Sitting on the stage with our Year Advisor, Principal and Deputy Principal. As my Year Advisor sat next to me she was telling me how we've grown so much and she can't believe we're going to the senior years soon. How she remembered us from Year 5 or 6 then meeting us all in Year 7. Ms Randall has unbelievably been the best Year Advisor ever!! Got graduated and cause there were some people leaving our school just wanted to say a lil something for them. For those who are leaving especially like Lisa she made a huge impact during my high school year cause Anna and I were one of her first friends and we use to sit with each other back then in Year 8. We were so close, so many memories, we were such luvos haha and full into 'Big Bang' rofl! We will definately miss you Lisa Hwang, you are the maddest Korean Chick I've ever met!! Love you!!!

Year 10 has been such a great year and I'm gna miss it for sure but at the same time looking forward to the senior years! That's all for now ciaoo bella! x

VISIT INDONESIA 2009!

Hey guys, I know this is a very late update about my holiday at Indo just haven't had the time and my net has been capped.
But anyways I want to make it sweet and short. I had such an amazing holiday got to see all my family at Indo and at the same time learn more about the culture and adapting into their lifestyle.
I literally went around Indonesia haha! Went to Padang for a week and stayed at my village where I had my Eid celebration there. Guess what I was lucky enough to escape away from the earthquake 3 days before it happened and Alhamdulillah my family is fine there. Went to Bali for 5 days and now I miss it so much just want to go back there and have a mad relaxing time! Jakarta was the place where I stayed the most and went to Bandung for 1 night!
So many great memories I won't forget my time at Indo and I just want to go back there now!