BEFORE INDO!

Today was finally the last day at school term 3 for me, as I'm going to Indo tomorrow. I'll seriously never forget the shortest goodbye for Anna and I. As usual she would be the first who cries, she gets pretty emotional and that leads me to crying like a sook! But really even though I'm only going away for about a month, no matter how distant we are, I feel like as if something a part of me is missing and my heart isn't complete. This amazing friendship we have is just unbelieveable and still going strong for almost 10 years. This girly girl I swear I love her so much with all my heart! What's really sad is that both our birthdays are coming up soon and we're missing each others birthdays out :(
I really wish I can be there for her cause I know how she would feel inside in the end. But Anna if your reading this I want you to smile on your special day okay sayang. Well this is a short blog entry for today and I'll be back to write more as soon as I come back! GOODBYE LOVELYZ <3

Bored on a beautiful day

So it's my last weekend in Australia and it's not going too great, I'm sick :( I have a flu, been couging 24/7, a bit of a hot temperature and lost my voice which I actually been wanting that to happen before. Basically cause I want to experience that while I'm singing and yes it's very hard. I really wanted to go out today but I was forced by my mum to stay home and take a rest.

I had a chat with my Dad about how, 'Life is just too short' I personally think now these days we got to have fun as much as we can and whatever opportunities are out there, go for it! I think nowadays I'm starting to believe in myself like what I've realized. I got into high school and in year 7 on the first day I remember my principal Mrs Emerson saying 'Educating the women of tomorrow' look at us all now, we're growing up too quick! It's scary but exciting things are coming on the way for us Insyallah.

An example; in primary school I've always wanted to a part of the SRC and be the School Captain but it was always the popular kids that would get it. When I settled into year 7, the year 12s gave us a talk and I rememeber before thinking, 'That's it I'm going up for it' though I didn't realize it was an opportunity since we're just all too young to think that way. It was something I've always wanted to do ever since I was in primary. I did it and ever since then on, I kept going up for it because I loved what I was doing and I never stopped even though I would have those negative thoughts about it. I believe I shouldn't be afraid, I guess it is something that I'm passionate about. It may sound corny but why should I keep that all in? I guess I never stopped trying until I get what I want and you will get it eventually if you keep trying. Sometimes I feel like I'm close to my dream, and that dream is to be School Captain to represent my school. Yes I know it may sound very corny, and I do have them negative thoughts about it but I would love to be the School Captain at my school because I believe it's a great opportunity to able to represent your school, the last year I'm going to be in high school, it will be a big challenge to handle your studies for HSC and having the responsibility as Captain and I certainly do love to challenge myself. Also it's a once a life time experience and I know it is early to think about this but since the year 11s had there Captain and Vice Captain elections recently, I actually thought about it since next year is our turn. I know myself that I'm not a fully academic student, but I believe I have potential.

It's just not only that but never give up in everything you do!

Something that just happened not too long ago, I remembered myself saying to him 'No matter what happens to us, I still want us to be friends' He started talking to me and I guess we're just normal which I am happy cause all I want is us to be good friends that's all. So I guess it's a good news, after not talking for a very long time!

Roller coaster

So far this week it has seriously been one of those days where you have your ups and downs. Where do I start?

Dear Anonymous,
I don't know if I have the guts to actually go up to you and talk through about things as we've had our pass together. You probably don't know how I feel at the moment and I do have sympathy for you as I've been through the similar thing as you. But seriously when can you move on? I've moved on but I wish you could really understand me right now? Please forgive me for all the hurtful things I've done to you and believe it or not, this fucking bullshit never ends! Please it's time to move on.

Dear Anonymous,
I care for you but I'm annoyed by the fact how you didn't think about how much of an impact it would make for that one particular person, especially when your close to them. I thought you would really understand how that person would feel. Let them not know by the mouth, let them find it out by itself and I guarantee that would not make a big deal for me. I'm over about it but just remember I won't forget what you did. At the first place you shouldn't get yourself involved in this situation since it isn't your business. At the same time your getting yourself affected by the situation. It happened already, but what can I do now.

Crying won't do anything, sometimes you got to let them all out instead of bottling them inside. I try to stay patient since it's Ramadan the Holy month for us and that is the key to control your heart, feelings and mind. It is very hard to stay positive in life and hoping things will be peaceful.

Now talking about the positive side, I have really good news to the world haha! Anna and I got into the SRC and we did this together! It's an achievement that we did together and especially, I'm so proud of her. It's funny when we had our SRC elections and in the last minute I lost my speech and I actually cried and panicked. But I found it by running up with Anna to our maths class and it was in my teachers drawer! Hahaha! I remember telling Anna, as she was feeling nervous that, 'I know we can do it and we will' and we did!! I'm just so happy about this great achievement we did together. I will never forget her lovely sweet speech and she mentioned about me how she was inspired by my past and present SRC experience and that it would be one of the great memories we shared together in high school if we got into the SRC. We did this! Gosh I love her so much, she's such a lovely girl and she has always been there for me through my ups and downs. Mahal kita <3
This is what you call HECTIK AZN SISTAZ! HAHAHA =D YAYY WE DID IT!!

I just want to say thanks to Allah for giving me and my loved ones the opportunites to positive things that are opened for us and Insyallah helping me get through things smoothly :)

Next week is going to be a busy week, I'm going Indo next week and I can't wait to have a holiday. Especially run away from things but I'll definately miss all my friends!